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Stop Doubting Sexual Abuse Survivors. Listen to My Story.
I was sexually assaulted when I was a tween.
When the Kavanaugh hearings happened, I found myself traumatized again, struggling with how to express my frustration and dismay. In the aftermath of Leaving Neverland, with so many casting doubts on the accusers, I felt an obligation to speak up, share my story and help others work to better understand victims of childhood sexual abuse.
When I was 14, I went online trying to understand my emerging homosexuality. There, I met a 19 year old guy and we arranged to meet in person. When I got cold feet and said I didn’t want to go through with it, he threatened me with disclosure. I felt powerless and afraid, as he preyed on my fear of being found out and desire for love.
Our encounter only lasted a few minutes, but it has affected my entire life. After years of therapy, and even now at 45, I regularly struggle to make sense of what it means and how it’s impacted me.
When you are listening to stories of youthful sexual abuse survivors, consider some of these biases I see over and over again, and ask yourself — is this the right way to approach understanding?
